A Light Touch@Humor

["R A Kaup sr." <papaw626@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Subject PROBLEMS WITH UPGRADE

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the
new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space
and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure. In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other
programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all
other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys
Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system
whenever selected.


I can not seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to
Girlfriend 7.0, but the un-install does not work on this program. Can you
help me, please?!?


Thanks, Joe

__________________

From: TECH SUPPORT

To: JOE

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0
with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to
Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause
girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible
to un-install, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not
designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0
but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual
under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0- and
just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their
cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command APOLOGIZE. In
any case, avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you will
have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return
to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for
all the GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife
1.0 and is likely to cause Irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck. Tech Support.

This is taking liberties with a serious discusion group. But it gave me a
belly laugh... Bob Kaup

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